Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows review

Do you like Harry Potter? Then watch the new Harry Potter film. Do you hate Harry Potter with his acting skills being comparable to a monkey with a singing nipple? Then watch the new Harry Potter film. Do you like kids? Then watch the new Harry Potter film, but obviously not the over 18 showing. Read More

Alice in Wonderland review

Gigantically underwhelming. It’s so colourful and beautiful to look at it, shame it didn’t stop me from falling asleep. The film is about as engaging as a deaf person on a telephone twiddling the curly wire with his middle finger, accidently dropping the phone then becoming aghast that he can’t find the damn thing because Read More

How to Train Your Dragon review

Nice. Weedy kid debunks the myth that dragons are violent scaly fire breathing demonic beings, who knew? They’re more loveable than your domestic mop you call a dog. For films that fly under the radar this isn’t anywhere near as funny as Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, but it sparkles with its feel good Read More

Saw 3D review

More of the Crystal Maze in Hell in this latest instalment of desperate storytelling to make a quick buck. This whole franchise is like a street hooker, when it was young it was beautiful (ok not always true), but it got older, it started sitting on the street corner giving hand jobs for crack; it Read More

Hello world!

Fear not, celeb-a-holic – coming soon is all the goss that’s fit to print. And then plenty that’s completely unsuitable, too.

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